Friday, January 21, 2011

Guest Post: Twitter's Fake Karl Lagerfeld (HungryLagerfeld) on Inspiration

The real Karl Lagerfeld had nothing to do with this
HungryLagerfeld is a mysterious Twitter personality who mercilessly ridicules the world of Fashion in the bitchy voice of Chanel's legendary, pithy creative director, Karl Lagerfeld.  I met this individual through Twitter networking, and he's agreed to provide something uplifting for you, since my usual fare is so damn dour.

I have added links to external sources to clarify some of HungryLagerfeld's material. 

There is no such thing as a bad idea; there are only visionaries and the people who hate them.

You are sitting alone, unattractive, no doubt, and probably poorly dressed.  You want to be a star, and yet you own no couture.  So you will write a book.  Books are great.  I write them, sometimes, to break up the monotony of my life of endless partying and flying around on private jets and telling runway models that they are too fat.

People will probably read your writing and tell you that it's bad.  This is to be expected, and it is to be ignored.  There are only two things that can possibly make your book bad:  1) your book will be bad if you lack the courage of your convictions and 2) your book will be bad if I read it and tell everyone that I don't like it.

That second thing is unlikely to ever happen, because I don't read books, so the ball, as they say, is in your court.  Don't give into the haters.

Broadway visionary Julie Taymor, like millions of others, saw the "Spider-Man" film when it came out in theaters a few years ago.  But of all those millions, she's the only one who asked:  "Wouldn't this be better if the spider that bites Peter Parker got really giant, and started singing?"

Because she dared to ask, her show "Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark" is the biggest musical in history, and one day it is going to open, no matter how many people have to die to make that dream a reality.  Brava, Julie Taymor.  Brava.

Were it not for the bold Warner Brothers executives who stood up to the critics that lambasted their dream, the world would not, today, have "Yogi Bear: 3D."  Do you know what makes "Yogi Bear" worthy of an $18 IMAX 3D admission?  The fact that those brave men and women believed in it so hard.  If you haven't seen this movie yet, you're like an animal to me, and I find you disgusting.

When naysayers asked if the world really needed an "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie, the brave people at 20th Century Fox said: "No, motherfuckers, we need two!"  Do you know how rich they are now?  Let us just say that we will keep our Chanel boutiques open late, if they are taken with the desire to shop.

So, write with abandon, live without compromise, and try to lose ten or fifteen pounds, for Christ's sake.  Nobody wants to look at that.

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