"Baked With Pete and Chad and Me": A Query Letter

Dear Agent:

Has U ever wonder what is like to just sit in ur moms basement smokin pot for days on end? That's what me and my friends do all the time, and sometimes, funny shit happens wen we r high.

so we wrote a book about that shit, and it is fuckin awesome. Like how sometimes you get so high, you think ur on a boat or something, but ur still in the basement, stoned off ur ass.

BAKED WITH PETE AND CHAD AND ME is a 42,000 word totally hilarious memoir, that is like kind James Frey, except I'm totally not a violent lying douche who harshes everybodys mellow.

Now that we wrote a book and r gonna make lots of money, we will have awesome weed. if u can get a lot of money for this, we will let u smoke with us becuz u seem cool.

Peace,
[writer]