A Message from Lord Byron

This is from the second canto of Lord Byron's masterpiece "Don Juan."    

"Hair of the dog."

     Few things surpass old wine; and they may preach

     Who please,—the more because they preach in vain,—

     Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter,

     Sermons and soda-water the day after.

     Man, being reasonable, must get drunk;

       The best of life is but intoxication:

     Glory, the grape, love, gold, in these are sunk

       The hopes of all men, and of every nation;

     Without their sap, how branchless were the trunk

       Of life's strange tree, so fruitful on occasion:

     But to return,—Get very drunk; and when

     You wake with headache, you shall see what then.

     Ring for your valet—bid him quickly bring

       Some hock and soda-water, then you 'll know

     A pleasure worthy Xerxes the great king;

       For not the bless'd sherbet, sublimed with snow,

     Nor the first sparkle of the desert-spring,

       Nor Burgundy in all its sunset glow,

     After long travel, ennui, love, or slaughter,

     Vie with that draught of hock and soda-water.

Hock, incidentally, is a British term for German red wine, which doesn't seem like a good thing to mix with with soda water.  But cocktail culture had not evolved to a high level of sophistication in the early 1800's; people mostly lived in their own filth.  And if you spent too much time trying to engineer a balanced cocktail, Lord Byron would seize the opportunity to sleep with your wife.