"Papa's gotta bring the cheddar to afford his many leather-bound books" |
Here's how overpaid stars get overpaid:
Step 1: "We've already sunk a lot of money into preproduction on this God-awful piece of shit, and now we realize nobody wants to see God-awful pieces of shit anymore."
Step 2: "I have a great idea to save this God-awful piece of shit. Let's get a Big Movie Star to be in it. Everybody wants to see big movie stars."
Step 3: "I'm a Big Movie Star. You'd have to pay me a metric fuckton of money to be in this God-awful piece of shit."
Step 4: "Here's a check, Mr. Big Movie Star."
Step 5: Roger Ebert: Big Studio's new summer blockbuster "God-Awful Piece of Shit" starring Big Movie Star is a God-awful piece of shit.
Step 6: "Sup, dude. Do you want to go see a movie tonight?"
"What's playing?"
"We can see 'God-Awful Piece of Shit' at 7:45."
"Is it any good?"
"No. It's a God-awful piece of shit."
"Meh. I'm not feelin' it tonight. I think I'll just stay home and masturbate to old episodes of Glee.'"
Step 7: "God-Awful Piece of Shit" disappoints at box office.
Step 8: According to Forbes Magazine, Big Movie Star is overpaid.
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