Monday, August 9, 2010

The best pick-up line I have ever heard

This is a pick-up line another dude used, on me  (unsuccessfully, because I only like women).

This happened a few years ago at a bar in the West Village:  dude rolls up and offers to buy me a drink.  Thanks, but no thanks; very flattering, Bro, but I am straight and not interested.

"I know you're straight," he says.  "I only fuck straight guys."

"No," I say.  "I'm really straight."

Dude says:  "Everybody's got a little queer in him, and with a few shots of tequila and a little K-Y, you can usually get some more in there."

And it may be true, but I was drinking beer and not at all interested in testing the hypothesis.  Still, it is the unquestioned awesomest pick-up line I have ever heard.  That guy probably gets laid every night.

In case you are wondering, my line, lately, has been: "So, let me tell you about this book I wrote."  Guess what? It turns out that writing dark mysteries about elderly people is not catnip for the ladies.  It's better than "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" though.

No comments:

Post a Comment