Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Old people are the new sexy vampires

My agent's pitch letter didn't include much biographical information about me, so when my editor first read the manuscript for "Don't Ever Get Old," she thought it had been written by an author who resembled the protagonist, an 87 year-old WW2 veteran.

I just turned 29 last week; the voice is based loosely on my grandfather, and also on old Dashiell Hammett novels.  A lot of people who read the manuscript seem to be surprised that I would write a book like this, and want to know why I picked this character and this story.

One reason: old people are awesome.  Last year, Wall Street analysts failed to recognize the awesomeness of old people and they predicted Pixar's "Up" would be a box office turkey.  That was embarrassing for them.

You can't really blame people for being late to the party on this one, though.  If someone had told me three years ago that teenage girls wanted to hook up with werewolves, I would not have believed it.

Anyway, here is the latest proof of that old people are trending; a viral video in which comedian Rachel Bloom begs for sex from 90 year-old author Ray Bradbury.

This could lead to another exciting new trend in which women pretend that they want to have sex with dudes who write books, which sounds like it might be fun for me, but would ultimately wind up being confusing and frustrating..

Maybe she should follow this "Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury" with: "Stab me, Norman Mailer,"  "Shoot me in the face, William S. Burroughs," and "Drink yourself to death while I die in a fire, F. Scott Fitzgerald."


  1. I love old people. Maybe that sounds sick, but I do. And I don't think there are enough books starring our geezer friends. One of my favorite books is INSOMNIA by Stephen King, and it stars elderly Ralph who goes on to kick some pretty good ass.

    Can't wait to read your book.

  2. I second the INSOMNIA nomination. Not only do old people kick ass, they are surprising too. I first picked up the book as a long time Stephen King fan. I shook my head, knowing what King does to his main characters, sure the book wasn't going to be that good.

    Boy, was I wrong!

    I can't wait to read your book either!